Tracing Anger to its Roots and Changing its Fruit

Anger: Its Nature

1. Anger is an emotion varying in intensity when the self is blocked from perceived goals (expectations) or injustice threatens the well-being of one’s self or others
2. The anger of God, and righteous anger in people, is clothed with compassion.  It is felt as a burden in the chest and a flame of anointing love about the head.  It is a strong and settled opposition to all that is evil.
3. The anger of man is defensive of idols, goals, expectations and is felt physically as pulses in the temples, sweats in the palms, knots in the stomach, shortness of breath, and may involve feeling of hotness all over.

Anger: Its Roots

1. Idolatry
2. Threatened sense of significance
3. Fear
4. Guilt turned inward
5. Abandonment
6. Hurt
7. Parents (vows against, familiar spirits, generational sins
8. Problems with authority
9. Unfilled expectations
10. Spouse (for not being God)
11. Self (for not being God, or for not being enough)
12. Toward God (for not creating me enough)
13. Frustration (of goals…)
14. Loss of control
15. Loss, grief
16. Injustice (real OR imagined)
17. Association with or exposure to anger of others (Proverbs 22:24)
18. Assumed guilt for family instability
19. Limitations imposed by sickness, handicap, or other conditions

Anger: Its Expression

1. Repress
   • Refuse to admit
   • Withdraw

2. Suppress
   • Deliberately hide from others
   • Turn inward
3. Express
   • Harmful of harmless ways
   • Attach a substitute or acknowledge how we feel
4. Confess
   • To God and others
   • Let God use for His purposes

Anger: Its Harmful Fruit

1. Fornication or adultery
   • As punishment toward one who has been hurtful
   • As revenge for perceived injustice of one of both parents
2. Complaining, murmuring, and criticism of others
3. Resentment: an accumulation of unexpressed anger
4. Depression: anger turned against oneself
5. Disease: anger turned against oneself; internalized
6. Ventilation: turning anger at others; verbal abuse
7. Physical aggression and associated abuse
8. Refusal to cooperate
   • Resistance to change (sometimes)
   • Logical defenses used to hide personal problem (counseling)
9. Distorting feelings: refusing to acknowledge how others have contributed to one’s anger
10. Embarrass others by actions, involvements to “get even”
    • Take on “black sheep” role; scapegoat
    • Failure in school
    • Substance abuse and dependencies
11. Vengeance:  bitterness, hatred, revenge, judgmental attitude

Anger: Its Control

1. We have two sets of choices regarding emotions
   • We can acknowledge or pretend they don’t exist
   • We can express or not express them
2. Correspondingly, it is most helpful to
   • Acknowledge to ourselves and to God how we feel, letting ourselves experience inwardly the full weight of our emotions.
   • Subordinate the public expression of our feelings to the goal of letting God use for His purposes (Ezekiel 24:15-17)
   • In short, our goal with respect to anger is:
     • Honesty
     • Selective expressions
     • To honor God
3. We can change the fruit of anger from harmful to helpful in the following manner:
   • A – Acknowledge It
     • To Ourselves
     • To God
     • Yet be slow (restrained) to express it to others
   • N – Note Sources
     • Why am I feeling angry?
     • What goal has been blocked?
     • What desire is unfilled?
     • What loss have I experienced?
     • What injustice have I experienced?
   • G – Guard meditation
     • Am I jumping to conclusions?
     • Is it right for me to feel inferior in this anger arousing situation?
     • In what ways does the Lord give me security and significance?
     • Resist revenge and attitudes of punishment
   • E – Evaluate responses and goals
     • How might others, including this person (thing / event) who is angering me, view this situation?
     • Are there things I can do to change the situation in order to reduce my anger?
     • In what way can I actively depend upon the Holy Spirit and prayer to submit my desires to God?
     • To what extent are my goals helpful ones; do I need to choose new ones?
   • R – Respect Godly purposes
     • The goal of ministry to others always takes precedence over sharing the hurt of thwarted desires
     • Express negative feelings if doing so serves a good purpose, the goal of ministry
     • Restore personal worth by honoring God who alone can give security and significance, rooted in Christ’s love (Ephesians 3:17-19)
     • Forgive those who are responsible for anger producing situation (II Corinthians 5:19; Matthew 18:33-35)

Anger: Its Helpful Fruit

1. Well managed anger testifies to the character of Christ
   • Fruit of self-control (Galatians 5:23)
   • Restraint in anger reveals trust in God (James 1:19-20)
   • Contentment in the face of frustrating circumstances portrays the lordship of Christ (Philippians 4:10-13)
2. Controlling one’s anger fosters confidence in one’s leadership (Proverbs 16:32)
3. Sense of well-being and good health is stimulated by proper expression of anger (Proverbs 14:30; 18:14; 17:22)
4. Evaluation of responses to sources of anger can lead to growth (Ephesians 4:26)
   • Learning to see the perspective of others
   • Learning to reframe obstacles into opportunities
   • Identifying negative attitudes to lay aside
   • Learning not to jump to conclusions about others

5. The energy associated with anger can be directed to changing undesirable situations (Nehemiah 5:1-13)
6. Taking anger producing situations seriously can motivate one to confront others constructively (Matthew 18:15)
   • Describe the other person(s) behavior
   • Tell how one feels in response
   • Identify past, present, or potential consequences
   • Request change
7. When responses to anger producing situations are submitted to God’s purposes, one finds a new sense of self-esteem in Christ’s love and in his service
   • Security – knowing one is loved unconditionally
   • Significance – knowing one is adequate to make a lasting(eternal) impact on others

References

• Collins, Gary, Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide. Word Books, 1980.  (Chapter 8)
• Crabb, Larry, How to Deal With Anger. Navpress, 1988
• Sandford, John and Paula, Restoring The Christian Family. Bridge, 1979  (Chapter 17)

“….that you, being rooted and grounded in love…to know the love which surpasses knowledge…filled up to all the fulness of God.”  (Ephesians 3:17-19)