The Womb of the Marriage

Two Different Kinds of Work…

Man

• The man’s work is external, he struggles with things that are outside of himself.

• In the fall of man, what is reaped is that as he attempts to have dominion (Genesis 1.27) over his world, he will be faced with external obstacles…thorns, thistles, land, etc.

• The man’s toil is to bear his own weight and the weight of others and to do so by working through and overcoming the external factors that try to thwart his goals, purposes, responsibilities, and design.

• He will be come against by things that are outside of himself.

Woman

• The word “pain” spoken to the woman in this verse is the same as the word spoken to the man.

• The work of the woman is internal, she struggles with things that come from within.

• The womb is internal, it is contained within…the woman births from the internal.

• She is woman, a womb-man…woman.

• She is to wrap herself around the emotional dimensions of what is happening around and inside her, to care for that and to bring life forth from it.

• The work of the woman is related to her womb, and her womb-nature, bearing the pain of life.

• It is not just the pain of the act of childbirth, but it is also the pain of nurturing and bringing forth the continued growth and maturity of those children.

Foundational Insight

The nature of the woman is wrapped around carrying the pain of bringing life from its beginning to its maturity and bearing  the pain of others as they struggle with life experiences.

Remembering and Defining the Marriage Covenant…

• Upon entering into the covenant of marriage, the man and the woman agree to an exchange of possession of everything…material, emotional, and spiritual.

• Think back to what was said at the time of covenant, this is what you signed up for.

• We are in this together, and you cannot escape the truth of “what is mine is yours, and what is yours is mine.”

• There is joint ownership of one another, body, soul, and spirit.

Remembering and Defining Marriage Covenant

• Ephesians 5.21-33 “…and be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.  In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

• Any time in the New Testament that submission is referenced, it is to be motivated by reverence for Christ.

• Relationally, submission is the most powerful posture for the Christian, because it is a full release of control and power to God for His will to be done in that relationship.

• Wives are to submit to their own husbands…note the concept of ownership.

• Husbands are to love their own wives as they love their own bodies…note the concept of ownership.

• Husbands are to love his own wife as himself, and wives are to respect her husband…note the concepts of ownership.

• Everything that is his now belongs to her…his love, his priority, his affection.

• And she is there with her womb to wrap herself around his life, and his experience, and his emotions.

The Womb in the Context of the Marriage Covenant…

• In the bearing of children, there is the carrying of pain and carrying the marriage and the fruit of the marriage in that regard.

• There is the toil of becoming one flesh, moving closer together and truly identifying together.
  • This requires a release of pre-marriage assumptions.
  • This requires courage to trust the other.
  • This requires a reaching of the bottom of oneself whereby expectations of one’s ability to change the other are released and oneness is purely pursued for who the other truly is.
  • This requires romance to be released and deeper concepts of love are chosen.
  • This requires conflict, without which there can be no intimacy.
  • The wife carries the weight/burden of the quality or health of the marriage relationship in her womb at all times.
    • Questions for a courageous, sensitive husband to ask his wife:
      • How would you rate the quality of our marriage right now?
      • What one thing could I change right now to improve the quality of our marriage?
  • She is carrying the toil of intimacy for that marriage in her womb.
• Marriage is saying we are going to face life together, therefore, there will be difficulties that must be faced together.
  • Three things that typically come against a marriage:
    • Things that are spoken or come against the husband, particularly regarding responsibilities that he carries.
      • Because she covers their marriage with her womb, she is in touch with his emotions.
      • Because she covers their marriage with her womb, she is drawn to explore those emotions with him.
      • She carries the impact of his emotions in her womb.
      • When he does not allow her to explore and process his emotions together, it builds up in her womb.
    • Things that are spoken or that come against the marriage and the oneness of the marriage are carried in her womb.
    • Things that are hurtfully spoken from one spouse to another, or ways in which one spouse comes against another, are carried in her womb.
  • When a man acknowledges his emotions, it allows for his emotion that is stored up in her womb to be released.
  • A man is not protecting his wife when he does not acknowledge, share, and process his emotions with his wife…he is actually causing damage.
  • Top priority needs to be given to sharing and processing emotions in the marriage covenant.
  • Men: if your wife is pursuing and probing your emotions, embrace her pursuit of you and allow her to process with you what is already hers by covenant.
  • In issues of offense against a spouse or the marriage, it is the man’s role to lead his wife in the forgiving of that offense.
    • Legitimate offense and wrongdoing between one another in the covenant of marriage, or from an outside relationship, deserves death on the part of the offender.
    • Jesus died for that offender.
    • Therefore, the womb can be emptied of the offense by allowing the death of Christ to pay the penalty for that offense and by forgiving.
    • Forgiveness is the only spiritual transaction that can release the offense from her womb.
  • Use this space to record thoughts and definitions regarding forgiveness from the Womb of Marriage teaching.
  • When a man is grieved and broken at the pain he has caused his wife, he dies, and she is set free from the weight of that offense in her womb.
  • In her womb, she carries the pain that he may not feel, which is why exploration and honesty regarding the offense, while possibly uncomfortable, is so important.
  • In so doing, you become one flesh together regarding the matter of that offense.
  • Don’t give an easy “I forgive you,” that will not release what needs to be released or promote deeper oneness.

Teaching by Keith Yoder, Notes by Jay McCumber